I never make New Year’s resolutions. I can’t really say why…I’ve just never gotten into the whole idea. I was giving it some serious thought as the first of the year was approaching this time ’round, and realized something that really made me feel… blechkk. So I thought I’d share it with you so you can feel blechkk too! Kidding. I swear this ends up being quasi-uplifting.
I was asking myself, “Do I not make resolutions because I know that most likely I won’t follow through, and then I’ll just be frustrated about it?” Because that’s a reason I often hear from other no-New-Years-resolutioners. And it hit me that it’s way worse than that. This was hard enough for me to think about, and even harder to share it with you, but here goes: I very rarely “follow through” with STARTING new things. Period. I have the hardest time taking a leap of faith, (pushing down the voices that tell me I can’t/shouldn’t/will look dumb) and just DOING it already. This thought has honestly never occured to me before. I’m seen by others as reliable, because when someone else is involved I am very responsible and will always follow through. But when it comes to big things I dream about doing, ideas that I have, places I want to go, etc…if I don’t already know how to do it, and don’t know the first few steps I’d need to take to get started I just kind of fizzle out before I even get going.
For example, I’ve always had kind of a weird inventor’s mind. Secretly (well, obviously not secret anymore) I would love to be an inventor. Weird. I know. I often come up with ideas for new products but have never done a thing with any of them. I think my most-frequently-used phrase (that probably drives my husband crazy by now) is, “AAARRRGGG I should have invented that!” followed closely by, “Heeyy! I invented that!”. That second one there is usually hollered at a store shelf or a television commercial when I see a new product that I did think of years ago but (lets be real here) most certainly did NOT invent. I’ve also had a few book ideas and have never done anything with those either. It all just seems daunting and unfamiliar and high-risk, so I just take the lazy route and don’t even try.
The “me” that is looking at “me” and seeing all of this is shaking her head and doing the McKayla Maroney face.
So this is how I found myself, on New Year’s Eve, in my pajamas, pint of Ben and Jerry’s in my lap, purchasing a domain name for this blog. And learning how to customize WordPress CSS and HTML code. Aawww yeeaaahh boyyyyeee. (But seriously, if you’ve read my About Me page you shouldn’t have had any visions of me out dancing till 3am in a sparkly cocktail dress.) I know this may sound like a depressingly dull way to ring in the New Year, but I can’t remember the last time I felt so proud of myself. I have been thinking about starting a blog for almost a year now. And if my whole New Year’s epiphany hadn’t happened, I probably would have kept “thinking about it” for another 20 years, and by that time no one is even going to remember what a blog is. So I decided to take a leap and just freaking do it. Stop thinking about it. Sheesh.
So this is my big step toward learning to START something so I can even have a chance to follow it through. I’ve put an immense amount of work into the creation of this site, and am really proud of all the new skills I’ve learned over the past several weeks. Once I forced myself to get over the initial hump of fear and uncertainty, I’ve been plowing full steam ahead and it feels really good. I’m also hoping that this blog will be a motivator for me to continue sewing! Its a new hobby for me and I’ve learned absolutely every single thing I know about it from blogs and online tutorials, so it feels natural to start documenting my growth on this blog. So here’s to a new year, new projects, and new discoveries about ourselves. Cheers!
Did you make a resolution this year? Anyone else struggle with this same problem?